


Table Code

by beachtowel



Series: "And I would've gotten away with it" [1]
Category: DCU
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Suicide mention, gun - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 15:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11649117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beachtowel/pseuds/beachtowel
Summary: With six nosy kids and a nosy Stephanie, Bruce's private life isn't necessarily private.Note: This was meant to be a one-off, then I kept writing. I made it into a series but I guess it's meant to be more of a multi-chaptered fic.





	Table Code

The family dinner, as usual, was eventful to say the least. Cass and Damian had not put the video games down, Duke and Jason were having their second extreme arm wrestling match within the hour, and Stephanie had managed to sneak in again and claim the seat right next to Bruce.

  
“Stephanie,” Bruce acknowledged the blonde rebel.

  
“Bruce,” she acknowledged him back with a curt nod.

  
He had already politely asked her to leave twice that day. Once when she managed to convince Tim to test some new water explosives in their underground pool, and the second time was when she emphasized how old Madonna was after he noted that they aren't very different in age.

“Stephanie,” Bruce started, ignoring her last incidents. “Can you please tell Cass and Damian to turn the game off and come to the table for dinner.” They heard a small crash come from the kitchen followed by a stressful sigh from Alfred.  

“Bruce,” Stephanie responded, formerly twining her fingers together and leaning in as if she was holding a meeting. “As the oldest person in this house,” she continued, ignoring Alfred’s age and clearly standing by her earlier statements. “I respect the authority you feel you have claimed for yourself. But don't try to tell me what to do.”

“I said please,” Bruce reminded her, conjuring up a breathing technique to get him through what he already felt was going to be a long dinner.

“Did you? I wasn’t listening.”

Bruce closed his eyes.

“I'll see what I can do,” Stephanie said as she slid out of the cherry wood dining chair and joined Damian and Cass plastered on the couch.

“Master Dick, there is such a thing as separate courses, they mustn't all come out at once," Bruce overheard Alfred say. ”I assure you, I am quite capable, you don't need to do that."

Dick came out with the salad bowl on his head and about four giants plates of food on each arm like he was competing for the title of World's Most Well-Balanced Waiter. Alfred followed him with a smaller tray of beverages.

“Relax, Alfred, you think I'd drop good food like that? This is elementary- whoa!” he stopped just in time to let a dart fly past him. The plates wobbled, but none fell. Dick winked at Alfred. “See? Like a pro.”

“Dinner time!” Dick yelled, causing a mini whirlwind as everyone settled themselves. Bruce gave Dick a silent nod of gratitude, earning himself a wink of his own.

Bruce did a quick head count.

“Where's Tim?”

“Who cares,” Damian didn't miss a beat.

“Uhhh, last I checked, he wanted to fix the bugs on his explosives,” Duke spoke up.

“Damian, go find Tim and let him know we're waiting on him for dinner.”

Bruce ignored Damian’s “ _ugh_ ” and Jason sneaking bread into his jacket as Bruce got an incoming text message. It was from Tim.

_Not hungry, skipping tonight._

_Come eat._ Bruce responded simply. He mapped Tim's eating patterns and knew he probably hadn't eaten since yesterday's lunch.

“Nevermind, he's on his way." He put his phone away. "Alright, while we’re waiting for Tim, why don’t we talk about our day today?” Bruce said, fully prepared for the groans that came his way.

“What if we all just commit a family suicide instead?” Jason asked with a sarcastic smile on his face. “I’ll start,” he said as he took out a baby glock from his hip holster.

While he got some chuckles, the only thing Bruce gave away was a hardened glare.

“Put it away. Now,” he said with all seriousness.

Jason rolled his eyes but took it off the table.

“I had a good day,” Cass piped up unexpectedly after the table buzzed down. “I bought a CD album, and I beat Damian in fourteen of the sixteen rounds of Super Mario Bros right now.” Cass gave a bashful smile as she waited for the rounds of applause to stop. “Also, I turned in six of the Falcone goons to the police last night without a single scratch left on their fragile bodies.” Another round of applause emerged for her.

Bruce couldn't hide his proud smile. Cass didn’t always speak up. Given her history, it was far more than understandable why she wouldn’t. But she tried, and at that moment, he knew that she did it for him. And more than that, he knew his kids could be a bunch of spoiled brats, but it was in these moments where he noticed them encourage and support each other, without irony or ridicule, that made him feel incredibly proud.

“You know you can stream music now, right?” Damian teased her lightly, ending that. “CD albums are a product of the last century, Cain.”

“Kid, you just learned about Spotify like three weeks ago, don’t act like I didn’t catch you working out with a walkman,” Jason spoke up, calling Damian out.

“Sorry for holding dinner up,” Tim came in to stop the rising argument, already looking distracted. His hair was a mess and he was still in his workout sweats, but at least he was present.

“Can you just sit down, dude? We’re all hungry,” Duke said, fork in hand, his plate already piled high with food ready for him.

As soon as Tim took a seat between Bruce and Dick, everyone went to town like a bunch of starved wolves. Bruce fought rolling his eyes at their dramatic yet well-choreographed antics.

After some usual bantering, Bruce checking up on how school is going for the younger ones, and Stephanie spiking up a debate on who the real hero was in _Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog_ , Tim took a moment to ask Bruce for a favor.

“Hey, Bruce? Can you ask Diana if she knows what this picture is of when you see her tomorrow? I’m having trouble placing what it is referring to with the sigils on the chair.” Tim took out a folded piece of paper from his paper with a photo of a plate that had a Greco-Roman picture of a woman sitting down.

Bruce tensed up for half a second and quickly recovered.  
  
“Of course,” he said with ease, fully preparing to jump into any other conversation.  
  
"What is it?" Steph asked Tim.   
  
"I don't know. I was spying on the office of the guy that makes this new gunpowder I wanted to buy, when I noticed this was hoisted up in there. I thought it was just decoration but when I zoomed in, that sigil right there," he pointed at a somewhat blurry scribble, "was a mark from the Elusinian religion way back when, right?" He handed it to Bruce. "Can you just ask her to confirm it's nothing to investigate when you meet up with her?"

"I will ask her," Bruce said, really hoping the conversation would end.

But Duke was paying attention, and from all the way across the table, spoke up. “Wait, I thought we were going to do a recon mission at that plant in Kansas?”

 _Fuck,_  was all that registered in Bruce's head.

“We are,” Bruce assured him. “My meeting with Diana won’t interfere with our plans.”

Tim looked at Bruce quizzically.

“Meeting?” Tim asked with a hint of confusion, but Bruce ignored the look and took a bite from the mashed potatoes as he left that conversation at that.  
  
“You are still keeping your commitment to spend time at the West Gotham Animal Shelter in the afternoon, right father?” Damian interjected. “Your appearance has already been advertised and profited from to build new stables for the rescued farm animals.”

“I will be there.”

Little by little, he heard the side conversations slowly falling out, the attention of his kids turn to him, and Bruce never felt like disappearing into the shadows more than he did then.

Everyone at the table already knew that Bruce was leaving later tonight to patrol, and that he had a WE board meeting at 7am sharp. So his meeting with Diana couldn’t be during then.

“There’s a late league meet-up or something tomorrow, B?” Dick asked as soon as he chewed down a slice of roasted duck Alfred prepared so elegantly.

“No,” Bruce responded truthfully.

“So… why are you and Ms. Prince meeting so late tomorrow night then?” Jason asked the question that was lingering on everyone’s mind.

“Oh, my god,” Stephanie let out as the thought fully manifested.

“Have any of you considered that I have work to do that is outside of your concern? And that I do not need to, and will not, disclose what I am doing every single second on any given day to any of you?” Bruce said with weight, really wishing that was left at that. However, he didn’t raise his brilliant kids to shy away from intimidating situations with unbreakable characters, and they were all dying to pry to the blunt truth.

“Oh, my god!” Stephanie repeated.

“Tim, how’d you know he’s meeting with Diana?” Dick asked.

“I just… did?” Tim said, looking at Bruce for confirmation, before talking to the table. “2am on Tuesdays every other week, and 3am on Wednesday on the others, unless he has patrol or anything else comes up, then the order switches, or that week’s meet-up is cancelled altogether. He leaves in his best suit, doesn’t return until dawn...” Tim looked back at Bruce. “The pattern wasn’t exactly hard to pick up, I didn’t know it was a secret.”

The table went ballistic as it was filled with more questions flying in Bruce's direction. Bruce cleared his throat as he cursed himself for not putting more thought into his scheduling. He just didn’t think his kids would care enough to notice.

“Yoooooh!” was all Duke said, as Steph cringed. "You and Wonder Woman are together!? What!?"

“The hell, she lose a bet?” Jason asked, still in disbelief at the night's unexpected revelation that Bruce and Diana were were seeing each other.

“Did she lose a thousand bets?” Steph amended. Bruce didn’t humor their rudeness. Cass gave him a surprised smile the entire time and Alfred stuck his head out only to walk back into the kitchen to avoid the commotion.

“How long have you and Ms. Prince been meeting, father?” Damian curiously asked his father. Bruce wasn’t sure how to answer the question, but Tim jumped in.

“Is it… nine months now?” Tim said, which earned another round of hollering.

“Brucieee!” Dick said, unable to hide his own suprised amusement. “My man has game! I approve!”

Bruce really considered leaving the table when he felt his face get a tinge hotter.

“Ms. Prince is an elite warrior and an intelligent individual,” Damian added with authority, “I also approve.”

“I just… I don’t understand,” Steph muttered with her head in her hands as she tried to make sense of the world.  
  
  
" _How_ did this happen exactly?" Duke asked. "Does anyone else know?"  
  
  
"As far as I know, no one else has been as meddling as you lot, so no, I don't believe anyone else knows," Bruce condemned his nosy kids.

“Would anyone care for an ice cream sundae?” Alfred said in that moment, coming in with a tray of them and their toppings in hand. Bruce was beyond grateful for the briefest distraction.

While most accepted, Jason shook his head.

“No thanks, Alfred, I’m stuffed with all the food and drama,” he said as he rubbed his belly. He stood up from his chair. “I should be heading home anyways, because you know... I have partners that I actually care about, and not try to hide from anyone.” He looked Bruce in the eye for the dig. “Especially from people I supposedly call my family, y’know.”

Bruce knew Jason didn’t mean it seriously, but he still felt foolish for being caught by his kids having a private relationship with Diana.

“Send them our ‘hello’s, then,” Bruce said smoothly, simultaneously passing his regards to his second’s chosen family as well as dismissing Jason from making further comments.

“Hey, before you go,” Dick said, “table code, alright? Nothing leaves this table.” He was speaking to everyone. “All of us, we have each other’s back, so don’t go sharing business that isn’t yours to share.”

  
As inventor of the table code when he confessed to Alfred about a bed-wetting incident on one of his first nights, Jason just half nodded with an eye roll at the reminder.

"Whatever,” Jason shrugged on his leather jacket. “Alfred, thanks again for the greatest dinner I’ve ever had in my life. And good night everyone, who knows when I’ll see you freaks again. And Bruce, ah, you know the rules for night duty.”

Bruce looked at him with a bit of confusion. He did know his own regulations.

“Be diligent, keep yourself protected,” Jason said with a smug grin as everyone else groaned. Bruce got up to also excuse himself; he had had enough. “Remember to stay hydrated and energized.” Jason continued, ducking a bread roll Cass chucked at his head before he finally made his way out.

**Author's Note:**

> Steph isn't Bruce's kid but she's young and wants to be where the drama is. Who doesn't? And if they seem a little rude and obnoxious, it's because kids are. Bruce knows this, and he loves them.


End file.
